I never thought I would be a stay at home mom. My career was such a big part of who I was and wanted to be. I worked a lot, and loved it. I worked on a crazy international project leading up to having my son, I would prop my swollen feet on my desk once everyone else was gone. When I popped over to my Dr.’s office for a checkup one day and I was told to go to the hospital to be induced for medical reasons, I went back to my office first to get my laptop. I worked while I was in labor. I loved my career and the work.
I hired a nanny and went back to work just as planned. Weekends became filled with a million errands and squeezing in a much quality time as possible. My employer was really amazing overall, my team, not so much. I was told that “I need to leave to let the nanny go” was not fair to the rest of my team and that it wasn’t a valid reason to miss last minute after hours meetings.
I was assigned to a new team and went part-time. It was the best of both worlds, I got to do work I loved, spend more time with my son, and take care of many of the errands that ate up a lot of our weekend.
I struggled with the career limitation of being part-time. I felt like I was in a holding pattern, but I felt like I still had a foot in the door so I could continue to move forward/ upward once my kids were in school full-time.
I returned home one evening and upon entering the house my older son said, “Mom, the nanny hurt me.” I resigned the next day. I cried when I resigned. I loved my job and my employer had been so wonderful to me. Opting out was the right thing for my family, but it was still hard to do.
Being home with the kids was a gift I didn’t know I wanted. I loved the time I was able to spend with them. I loved being class mom and chaperoning almost every field trip and attending PTA meetings after drop-off. I loved not trying to squeeze an activity into every available moment and learned to really enjoy the quiet time.
I recently started a consulting firm and doing some project work. I certainly miss the camaraderie of working on a team and the satisfaction of bringing big projects to life but I haven’t quite figured out manage that type of work and manage my kids and household.